Too few people are aware that in October of 1988 President Ronald Reagan declared October Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Awareness Month and later in 2002 October 15th was designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Reagan shared, “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” To this day there is no official title for parents who have experienced the death of a child at any age. (October15th.com)
During October you might see people going “pink and blue” for PAIL awareness. I have seen people change their profile pictures to pink and blue, dye their hair pink and blue, paint their nails and decorate their baby’s graves in you guessed it pink and blue all in the hopes that others will become more aware of what PAIL is. How can you help support PAIL awareness during this month?
You can go pink and blue in your own creative way and or participate in the “Wave of Light”. This is where on October 15th candles are lit at 7pm in remembrance of all babies who left their world all too soon creating a wave of light across the US. There are also walks and other activities you can find taking place all across the US here: Walks and Activities
What will I be doing this October 15th? First I will go decorate the graves of a few baby’s pink and blue who parents do not live close enough to do it themselves (my kids love doing this). Then we will light a candle for each baby we know who has gone too soon from our daughter Bryton’s grave at 7pm. Us PAIL parents did not choose this, we did not wake up and decide to join this unfortunate club that has no real name and is too sad for many to acknowledge. But we are here, what we have been through is real, and our baby deserves to be remembered not only on October 15th but always.